How to Make the Most of a Parent Conference!



You're Invited!

by

Lynn K. McMullin

When I was a high school teacher, both in East Granby and Canton, I remember a few of my colleagues pulling their parent teacher conference schedule from their mailboxes and complaining, “I’m always seeing the wrong sets of parents.”  I understood what they meant by this, but it made me cringe then, and still does today. 

I’ve always looked at parent conferences this way: First, if your child is doing very well in class, you deserve to hear that message in person.  Second, and more importantly, if your child is excelling in class you deserve to know what the teacher is doing to challenge your child above and beyond the everyday expectations… what are his or her goals for your child this year?   Third, if your child is struggling, the teacher should lead a discussion about what you can do together to support your child’s motivation and/or achievement.  You have some information about what works and doesn’t work with your child, and the teacher has additional strategies to suggest.

It’s very important to attend conferences if your child is struggling academically or socially. It’s equally important to go if your child is doing very well.  Every parent has a right to be at conferences, to be treated with respect, and to be given a current progress report, with clear goal statements and suggestions for working together as partners in the student’s best interests.   You should never feel like you don’t belong or are taking up the teacher’s time.  If your schedule does not permit attending conferences, or if you have too many conferences to squeeze them all into one day, call and ask for an alternative day and time.

Maybe you’re asking yourself why you should attend for the umpteenth time and what you're supposed to say or ask during a parent teacher conference.  After all, you’ve got a progress report; you can check grades in PowerSchool; you’ve seen papers coming home; you have, or will receive, a report card.  What’s left?  Face-to-face communication can be much more effective than a number or letter on a report card.  You can learn so much about the teacher’s expectations and your child’s progress when you and the teacher review a few of your child’s papers together.  Facial expressions and body language can also help you and the teacher better understand each other’s perceptions.

The Art of the Elementary School Conference:
1. Ask how your child is doing overall in the classroom. Is your son or daughter behind, ahead, or on target academically and socially? Is your child happy in the classroom?
2. Ask to review some specific information about your child’s work in comparison to a benchmark. The teacher should be able to show you examples of what the grade-level expectations are for writing or what a sample math problem or task looks like. The teacher should be able to show you and explain your child’s reading level. Together, you should compare your child’s papers or written work to a benchmark or standard. Some teachers can also provide rubrics which describe what they are assessing.
3. Wherever your child is on the spectrum, ask what the teacher’s goals are for your child, when your child might reach those goals, and how your child is going to get there.
4. Ask about your child’s personal performance. Is your child working hard? To his or her full potential? Does your child enjoy the academic work? Share what you observe during homework time. Share any strategies that motivate your child … or circumstances that shut him/her down.
5. Ask about your child’s social growth. Does your child get along with others? Is your child friendly and respectful towards others? Does your child handle frustration, disappointment, guilt, or anger appropriately? Is your child accepted by others?
6. Both the teacher and parents must try to give vague observations a clearer context. If you can’t picture your child in a particular scenario, say, “Tell me more about that.” Ask the teacher to describe a particular time, place, and situation. Provide the same specifics for the teacher, when necessary. The goal is to determine ‘what works.’
7. Ask the teacher about your child’s good qualities and strengths. How can you, together, as a team, capitalize on those qualities and strengths?
8. Ask the teacher for suggestions about what you can do at home to support what the teacher is doing in school. There are specific ways parents can help children develop number sense, engage in critical thinking, read and follow multi-step directions, or make connections between stories (or even movies) and their own lives.
9. Ask what’s coming next. What’s the next unit in math or science? The next skill in reading?
10. If necessary, plan a follow-up conversation. Sometimes the teacher needs to think through a question or research new information. In that case, the teacher will need to get back to you. Sometimes, you’ll agree to try new strategies at home or in school and a follow-up will be necessary to evaluate the strategy.

Middle school and high school conferences are much tougher. Because teachers must see 40 or more parents in three days, secondary school conferences are considerably shorter. As a result, specific details about the student (rather than generic observations) and the facial expression and body language from both parties become the key communication devices. There IS time to be friendly; but there’s no time to chat about older siblings who went off to college, where the student is currently working, or the outcome of a recent sport or music event.

The Art of the 8-Minute Conference:
1. Ask how your child is doing overall in the subject. Is your son or daughter behind, ahead, or on target academically for that course? Is your child engaged, interested, and involved in the classroom?
2. Bring the last progress report with you and ask the teacher about any patterns you’ve observed. For example, your student might be struggling with homework or tests and quizzes. Ask the teacher for strategies which can strengthen weak areas. Ask for content-specific studying tips, such as flash cards or out-loud practice in front of a mirror. If you don’t know the amount of homework time expected each night, ask.
3. Ask to see your child’s work in comparison to a grade-level or department benchmark. The teacher should be able to show you what the expectations are for some elements of the content area -- a sample of a lab report, a one-page essay, or an essay test question response, for example. The teacher should be able to define the work qualities being assessed, such as labeling, showing all steps in a process, using complete sentences, or providing specific examples. Most teachers can provide rubrics which describe what they are assessing.
4. If necessary, plan a follow-up meeting or phone call, especially when a parent-teacher collaboration is required for the student to improve.


Conferences are November 16th, 17th, and 18th. Early release days are scheduled to accommodate the greatest number of parents.